Pea and Mattresses

Self-Doubt

There,
just beneath the reflection
of applause and acclaim;
there,
not quite within the glare
of commendation;
there,
just outside the illumination
of honor and praise;
there,
in the shadow not the glow
of admiration.
There;
that is where
(you think)
you’ll find it.

But you don’t find it,
you feel it.
Poking you,
a thorn in your side;
jabbing you,
a pea under a hundred mattresses.
No one feels it but you.
It’s your thorn
in your side;
it’s your pea
under your mattress.
You know it’s there
even though
no one else
is aware,
and even you
can’t find it;
you feel it.

If you could find it;
you could deal with it.

by C Eric Funston 12 September 2014